Shadow Dance 2
-- Lorenzo Gramlich, October 21st, 2015
Another Shadow Voice revealed. This is beginning to get easier
Just the facts: I was sharing a very pleasant experience of mine with some friends one evening a couple of weeks ago, and was interrupted by someone who thought that I was taking too much time. I immed-iately erupted (not "responded" -- nope, I erupted) back at him about how violated I felt, etc., etc.
One of the others asked if I wanted to clear things up and get down to what was the Shadow of mine that had created my gut reaction. In talking it through I began to recognize my "I'm not being heard" Shadow.
I saw that my reaction was coming from my Shadow Voice, not caused by the words that my friend had spoken that felt so inconsiderate to me. They had appeared inconsiderate because I had a past history of pain and sadness around not being heard.
It's not like this particular Voice has never presented itself to me before, or has never occupied and dominated my conscious thoughts for a few days with plans and schemes to get the person who "wronged" me to understand what they had done, and once they understood me, then of course they would apologize for their egregious error. Right? Not.
Eventually it dawned on me that I was spending a lot of time, energy, and emotions about how right I was and how wrong this other person was. "I" wasn't having these thoughts, it felt like "IT" was having them and was using my mind and emotions to have them.
Since I'd been exploring the Shadow and how it keeps me from living my life in the spirit and joy of my true Self, that which I call my Golden Child, I could finally see that, yes, I had been kidnapped once again by my own Shadow.
Once I began to see that I was hijacked, hoodwinked, and taken over, at that point I knew that I had a choice. I had no choice in the matter until I could see it. Up until that moment, no choice was available and my Shadow Voice was more than glad (and well practiced) to handle the situation for me. Just like it has been doing since waaaay back when.
I remembered a very important story about choosing:
evening an old Cherokee chief was sitting at the campfire with his
grandson and told him about a battle that goes on inside of all people.
He said, “My son, the battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all.
“One is Evil. It is Anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
“The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, gratitude, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”
The grandson thought deeply about this for a while and then asked, “Grandfather, which wolf wins, Grandfather?”
The old Cherokee looked lovingly at his grandson and replied, “The one that you feed.”
At that moment I chose to recognize that this Voice as one of my Shadow Voices, and that I could choose to bring it out of the darkness by shining light on it. I was beginning to recognize it for what it is -- a part of my own Self that I had cut off from my Self at a very young age when I decided that it wasn't always safe to say what I felt or thought.
In beginning to shed some "light" on this and other Shadow Voices, I can feel the difference and am a more beneficial and empowering relationship with a force which has had uncontrolled power over me for many, many years.
Here's a question for you: Do these Shadow Dance stories bring up anything for you about your own life? Do you see where your own Voices may be running your life? Does it matter to you?
The reason I've created these "Heart of Gold" and "Designing My Life" online books is to get some conversations going with others to see what develops and where that might take us.
If you would like to share some thoughts or feelings about this you can jump right over to the Hearts and Minds Cafe blog page and let us know what's on your mind or in your heart. We'd love to hear what's so for you.
You can get there with one quick click right here.
Thank you for visiting and we hope you'll come back. The links below will get you to by online books.
To go to the Book, "Heart of Gold", click here.
To go to the chapter, "The Shadow", click here.